Quick Dieting Techniques

Everybody wants them, you can't deny it. Even men need to lose a little weight nowadays. I am a cross country runner and usually run 7 miles a day, but even with that I get a little meat on me every once in a while. Here's what I have learned from the gurus:

Eat slow, let it sink in. When you eat quickly, it takes your body longer to register what you've already eaten. This is good at parties. Instead of getting a piece of pizza, a beer, some cake and a cookie and scarfing it all down real quick and then getting back to cornhole, try eating some pizza, waiting a while, then half a beer, and so on. But do NOT do this with chips and other foods that would be easy to consume whole bags. It never ends well.

Workout long and slow. When you're working out, it may feel like you're doing more by whippin' that 15 lb dumbbell up swinging your arms around like a maniac, but you aren't doin' shit. Especially with running, you are better to run 5 or 6 miles at more of a jogging pace than to run olympic speeds for 2 miles. Now, not everyone has time in their day to spend 2 hours working out, but you are better to take it slow and only finish a few exercises a day than do it all in 30 minutes.

Cool Whip diet. Sometimes you need to be in a little danger to look good. Maybe you don't think it's worth it, but for those of us that do, something like a Cool Whip diet is great. It's just what it sounds like, simply eat *extra creamy* cool whip as if it were a meal. It has very low calories and since it has a thick, sugary taste (only the extra creamy does) it fills you up very quickly. I usually consume around 600 or 700 calories with it. It's not good for a long period of time or if you are watching blood sugar or heart rate. I would only reccomend it for us youngins.

Put everything on a plate and sit down. First of all, your floor will be sooo clean. And also, when you just grab and munch or sit in front of the tv with a bag of pretzels, you tend to eat by taste, not by fill. And maybe being in a dinner setting will remind you of your mother making you eat your peas.

The Gap Is Closing

With the Olympics in full swing, I've noticed the gap between men and women's athletic ability. A thousand years ago, women weren't even allowed to do sport activities, and now they are catching up (and some even dominating) in athletics. I think that in another thousand years, men and women will be physically equal, aside from genitals of course... and gender will become less important. Another subtopic, many people talk about how after a while all races will start have interracial relationships with each other, and we'll all be beige someday. Finally.

Some Actually Useful Etiquette

So I was with some people today who were being very rude (J-walking, yelling in resturaunts) and it made me think, do these people know manners and choose not to use them, or do they simply not know them? I'm not talking about those dumb rules you learn at tea partys, just the relevant ones that make you not look like a jackass.

Think about how your shirt will be portrayed in terms of where you are. No, it is not cool to wear a "Meat is Murder" shirt to a butcher shop. They are allowed to kill you, they have knives.

Make your voice match the crowd. Before you open your mouth, listen. Listen hard. If everyone else is very quiet, you should be too. Especially on the phone.

Go to age-appropriate places. This goes for all ages. It doesn't matter if you are 10 and you think you are mature enough to hang out with 16 year olds. You aren't go home. That goes for you 32 year olds too.

When shaking a drink, shake side to side, not up and down (pay special attention, overweight people). We don't want to see all your loose parts "jigglatin' ".

Check your spelling. You don't get charged by the character, so just spell things the right way. It takes about half a second to type the the rest of the word "u", so just do it.

Try not to swear. I'm not one to complain, but forcing a swear word is a crime. A crime punishable by me. Girls swearing is not hot. Not fucking hot at all.

Be careful around family members. It doesn't matter how close you are, your girlfriend's older brother does not want to hear about your sexcapades with her. Nor does her dad.

Be kind to workers. Yes, even the McDonalds ones. They have tough jobs, as we all do. Treat them nicely, make their day.

Ask before getting food at someone else's house. No matter how comfortable you are at your friends house, it's rude to go in and eat whatever the hell you please. Maybe they were saving those delicious poptarts. :/ True story.


I'll write more as I come across more rude people.

Where "William Christopher" Came From

When I made this, I decided right away that I wouldn't use my real name. Partly because my agenda does not include rape and/or death, but mostly because this blog isn't about me. William is a name I liked, and the name I used to pretend I was when I was little. For some reason, the name William made me think of a gentleman, or a handsome, intelligent superhero in disguise. And to this day, I want to name my child that. Christopher is one of my middle names (I have two.) and I thought it went well with William. I've used William Christopher on sites to sign up with, on those little complaint things at restaurants, and pretty much anything I want to keep anonymous. Maybe I'll make it my real name some day.

Am I The Only One That Feels Bad For This Girl?

Well, first of all, my sister and I concluded that they were filming a porn film. The hardcore music, one guy three girls in a hot tub. It's very obvious. But I have watched this with several people and all of them just laugh and call her a loser. Am I really the only one that felt bad for her? And I must admit, I am not the most sympathetic person, but good god!